My Suicide story

20770115_764556277062311_8164196668422905037_nI’ve never written a suicide note, I’ve never placed an explanation in the palm of my loved ones hands. Maybe this is because I’m not fully certain why I attempted to kill myself. Was it the clear cutting voice of the devil, telling me I needed to end my life. Perhaps it was the chaos and confusion of the past few moths. Like an all consuming fire that I count see past It left me in fear with trembling hands, I plucked at the heart strings of my life.

God loves me, God loves me not, God loves me, God loves me not.

The saddest tune filled the air, and once again I felt consumed. I’ve never tasted death, I’ve never been successful in an attempt. Though I’ve tasted the pain of the aftermath. I gulped it down in the form of medicine and blood tests but mostly the ache in my stomach that reminded me when I took x bottles of pills and begged for it be enough, it was. The doctors came in with careful eyes and worried smiles. Telling me I needed a liver transplant, and might end up with serious brain damage.

This time my heart strings played a different tune, they went wild and throughout me I felt the most unconditional love. As they sang to me He loves you, He loves so much. With true love through me I knew I was under his protection Weeks passed and the doctors still came in to tell me their news that I would need a liver transplant. But I knew a God not of this world who is filled with Mercy that he gives to daughters like me, daughters who he loves. As my faith was secured I knew what would happen and as time went on sure enough my liver was restored and healthy. I rejoiced with Jesus Christ, my saviour.

Each year in Canada Thousands of people lose their life to Suicide. In 2012 there was 3,962 deaths, 2,972 of them being male and 954 being female.

I am both endlessly passionate and curious to know how we can bring those numbers down.

Statistics show that those regularly attending Church Service who identify as committed Christians, are far less likely to attempt suicide.
This must be because of the community of support one finds at a church that can’t be replicated any where else. Being surrounded by like minded people is so beneficial and healthy. People who are always eager to pray for you and with you, people just like you who get caught up with sin but know the power of repentance. They are always willing to hear your story without judgement and offer advice. The Church is filled with people with powerful gifts, gifts that are given to them to benefit others. I do know that no church is perfect and what I just described might not sound like your church, but I do know its possible to find this community at church. It exists, its from God, and its absolutely lovely.
Of course there are many reasons to attend a church service, its a place to grow in your relationship with Christ. Its a place where you can grow in a healthy safe environment.
I wish that this was a bigger part of are culture, that it was taught at schools and suggested by counsellors. But hey maybe you can help, invite someone to church this week it could be anybody you never know who might really need it.

I believe its possible to bring down the suicide rate, I believe in brining Christ to peoples lives, and lastly I believe we are here to give our lives in service of others.

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